The Big Mad: Schmitt Breaks Wind, Hawley Podcasts and Missouri makes the wrong choice

Click to enlarge

  • Here’s Josh Hawley and his wife, establishing what is arguably one of the worst podcasts in history.

Welcome to the Big Mad, the RFTthe weekly roundup of fair rage! Because we know your time is short and your anger is burning:

Wind that breaks: Here’s a piece of advice from a long, careful study: Politicians do some of their dumbest jobs wearing windbreakers. Something about the combination of blue nylon and an official-looking logo emboldens the crappy bureaucrat to act like they’ve just broken down the door to the Zodiac Killer’s apartment. Add yellow capital letters to the back of said windbreaker and you are in a real mess. So when Eric Schmitt appeared over 900 miles from Jefferson City in El Paso, Texas, wearing blue jeans and a jacket with “ATTORNEY GENERAL” on the back, you knew it was on the back. point of falling. Schmitt, who is currently losing a Republican primary to fellow windbreaker fanatic Eric Greitens, appeared alongside the Texas Attorney General (who was at least in good condition) to demand that President Biden finish this border wall for which Mexico was going to pay. Schmitt says a border agent told him the cartels had connections in Missouri, so yes. Schmitt claims it was not a campaign stunt, and if you doubt his sincerity, you can see it in a video montage published both on his campaign and on his official Twitter accounts. There is Schmitt in all the poses of a serious and competent man: talking to real border officers, shaking the hand of a border officer, walking with a border officer, his arms crossed and nodding his head at a border officer, hands on hips while sitting an SUV with a border officer. Still not impressed? In the video, Schmitt breaks down Biden’s refusal to act. “There is money – $ 3.8 billion – allocated to it. He refuses to spend it on a wall. Refuse to spend $ 3.8 billion on a wall. Schmitt windbreaker couldn’t believe it.

Now This Is podcasting: There’s something sickly and sweet at the same time about the latest neighborhood podcast, That’s life. Featured by Missouri’s premier seditionist, US Senator Josh Hawley, and his wife, lawyer Erin Hawley, the show’s first episode on October 25 saw Hawley introduce the project with the caveat: “It doesn’t. is not really a podcast on politics. ” Indeed, the 27-minute episode barely presents a shred of substance, aside from being the backdrop to their comfortable family dynamics. Instead, Hawley summed up the podcast’s theme as recognizing America’s “hour of need” – and what America needs, of course, is more Josh Hawley. Of course, he doesn’t come out to say it, hiding his rapacious side while rightly speaking about the need for people to cherish their families, “to live for the things that will last.” But the most telling part of That’s lifeThe first episode of ‘s actually comes at the very end: In the final seconds, after the outro has already faded, a different voice is heard clarifying exactly what Hawley is hoping to last. The voice says, “Paid by Josh Hawley for the Senate. That’s life, okay.

Crushed candies: As Missourians we are used to having horrible options (see: our race for the US Senate) but for some reason even when we have endless choices some of us are still determined to choose the fucking worst possible. Yes, we are talking about the fact that recent online shopping data shows that Missouri prefers to buy, of all things, Milky Ways for its Halloween candy. This is unacceptable. If you buy Halloween candy to give out to kids after they tell you a joke or whatever obstacle you knocked them out, and then give them a Milky Way, these kids can fully TP in your home. The size of a Milky Way in a Halloween Edition bag equals a Lego, and it’s certainly not worth freezing your ass in the cold Missouri. These kids travel miles and miles of neighborhoods looking for candy – something they got stolen from last year, you think – and all you’re going to hand them over is a Milky Way, gone after a bite. chocolate-caramel disappointment? Why would you want this for the future of this nation? Why settle for a Milky Way when you can buy individual packs of M & Ms or Sour Patch Kids? Once the night is over, you will have leftovers, that’s a guarantee. Do you want to abuse Milky Way bars? We didn’t think so. Do better for yourself, Missouri. Aim higher. Just for once, make the right choice.

  • Sign up for our weekly newsletters to get the latest news, things to do and places to eat straight to your inbox.
  • Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

About Elaine Morales

Check Also

Turkovich Family Wines owner featured on Visit California podcast

Chris Turkovich, owner of Turkovich Family Wines, was featured on a Visit California podcast focused …

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.